Allan is right, this is REALLY hard

I'm participating in Allan's Phase 4 challenge, well, at least I'm trying to do it. It's not that easy. He says it gets better, I sure hope he's right.

I don't weigh 141 like he has me listed on his chart of participants. I wish! I started at 181 on Sunday. I hope he doesn't show me gaining 40 pounds at the end of week one.

The Good
My size 12 jeans that I wore on the plane on Saturday that were too tight and cutting into my flesh, fit much better today. They were fresh out of the dryer this morning, and they're actually comfortable.

My manager bought us all really cool company logo insulated water glasses with a straw. I love it! I can add ice and it doesn't sweat like my stainless steel Nathan water bottle. I've actually been drinking more than my required 90 ounces of water (today was 116 ounces of water, plus coffee and tea - a little on the high side).

The bad
Allan said Phase 4 would be hard in the beginning and he wasn't kidding. It's been an extremely difficult three days of trying my best to stay in the 1200-calorie range. To say I'm hungry is an understatement. I feel like I'm starving to death. I'm trying to follow his eating guidelines. Actually, they're similar to Weight Watchers but without all the "free" fruit.

I've been eating a bit more protein than his plan recommends, because, well, you know I work out soooo hard. I think I've been kidding myself about exactly how hard I'm really exercising. I thought the extra protein would help with the hunger but it's not working. I know, I'm breaking the rules and if this doesn't work for me it's totally my own fault.

The ugly
I'm feeling sort of weak and light headed, and I'm more forgetful than normal. Forgetting names of people that I've known for years, losing my cell phone (found it in my car), and other things that are starting drive me a little nuts.

I can't decide if this is all in my head and I'm imagining it or if it's because of the reduced calories. I know the upside of the hunger means I'm losing weight. The downside is that it's difficult to function when I feel like this.

My workout this morning was really terrible. Thirty minutes on the StairMaster and each step felt like torture. I only completed 103 floors. I normally complete at least 125 to 135 floors (my personal best was 144 floors in 30 minutes).

My strength workout wasn't much better. The barbell that I use for bicep curls and overhead shoulder presses is 45 pounds. I've been doing it for months but today that 45 pounds felt like 65 pounds. I completed all of my exercises and reps (three sets each) but it was a struggle. I really just wanted to go home, eat everything in sight, and crawl back into bed. Usually I don't even think about food when I'm at the gym in the morning.

My calories burned on my heart rate monitor for my hour workout was 380. Usually it's 500 - 600 calories. Not good.

A word about Weight Watchers
I've been whining about the zero Points fruits and vegetables, but really, for most people I don't think this is a problem. It's really just a problem for me. I don't seem to know when to stop. I guess I'm lacking in common sense when it comes to food. After all, I did gain 100 pounds. That says a lot about my self-control when it comes to food.

I'm still attending meetings, mainly for the accountability of the weigh ins and because I love my leader.

Link to my food diary
I'm tracking my food on a different blog page -- Food Diary, with calories AND Points for everything I'm eating. It's very boring reading but I'm really surprised how many calories I'm consuming. I'm pretty sure I was eating a lot more than 2000 calories a day because 1300 calories seems like starvation to me now. No wonder I've been gaining weight.

My conclusion about this whole thing
It really is lot harder than I thought to eat only 1200 calories a day. I really hate being this hungry. I know it'll be worth it if I can get this weight off. Thanks Allan for sharing your plan with us, I appreciate it, but oh my gosh, this is difficult!

This was a very tough day

After 25 days of vacation I went back to work today. It's hard for me to get back into the swing of things after a long weekend. After almost four weeks, it was darn near impossible. I'm so tired right now I can barely stay awake.

Today is also the first day in a really long time where I was extremely careful with what I ate.  I'm doing an experiment through the end of January. I'm still counting Points, but I'm also counting calories. Double the fun, right?

I have my doubts about the new Weight Watcher PointsPlus plan. Zero Points for all fruits and most vegetables just doesn't seem right to me.

I know someone reading this is thinking 'she didn't get fat from eating too many fruits and vegetables'. That's probably true, but it's also true that I can consume massive quantities of fruits and vegetables. Six large bananas is 600 calories. I've easily eaten six bananas in a day several times in my life, in addition to my regular meals. I seem to have a bottomless pit for a stomach. This is enough calories that would prevent me from having a weight loss and might even cause a gain.

I rarely list what I eat unless it's something I binged on like the can of cake frosting I ate about a year ago. Or the pizza and coconut cream pie I ate on New Year's Eve. In an effort for accountability I'm going to post every bite I eat, at least through the end of January.

Since I don't want to bore you all to death with my daily food intake, I've created a separate blog of my food diary. The calories and the Points will be documented. This is really for me, so I can see it all in one place. I just started it tonight, but haven't added the link yet.

Unfortunately, since I'm dead tired right now and getting up this morning was a challenge, I'm heading to bed right now.

January 2, 2011 - 181 pounds

Pictures from the ice park at North Pole, Alaska.

December 31, 2010

The vacation
I'm back from Fairbanks where I had a wonderful week with  my family. I'm blessed to have a really great family. We have a little dysfunctional stuff going on, just like any family, but we have a lot of fun together. I was actually crying on the plane after leaving them yesterday. I miss them already.

You can see from my title I didn't do so well with the weight loss this last week. I actually gained four pounds in the week I was in Fairbanks. Even though my sister normally eats really healthy, her children (my nieces and their families), well, not so much.

My nieces, sister and myself started off the week going to the gym Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. My 72-year old skinny (and beautiful) sister usually goes five days a week. On Thursday and Friday we just wanted to stay home, relax and visit, so that's exactly what we did.

For New Year's Day everyone decided on Papa Murphy's pizza (with extra cheese). I looked it up before I ate it, 28 Points for 1/8 of  a pizza (combination). I had two pieces. Then there was the coconut cream pie for dessert (which I didn't even bother to look up the Points) Seriously, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I haven't eaten food like this in oh, I don't know, three years! I wish I could say it made me sick and I felt awful afterwards. I didn't. I felt fine, with just a twinge of regret knowing I was going home the next day and facing the scale.

It wasn't just the one day of overindulgence. My sister makes the world's best homemade bread. It's whole wheat and healthy, but it's bread, and I'm sure it's high in Points. I can't resist it.

We also ate out a lot and even though I tried to order healthy food, eating out is not conducive to weight loss unless you really watch it. I didn't.

Check out this salad I had at Chili's that I looked up AFTER I ate it. I could have looked it up before since I had my phone and internet connection, but I made a conscious decision to look it up later, knowing it wouldn't be good.

Quesadilla Explosion Salad
Calories 1400
Fat grams 88
Sat. Fat 26
Carbs 88
Protein 65
Fiber 10
Sodium 2320

Can you believe those numbers? It should be illegal to serve something this high in fat and calories, not to mention the sodium.

On the plane ride home I felt miserable because my clothes were too tight. My bra was cutting into my back (back fat), my jeans were too snug around my waist (gut fat) and I was wearing my big size 12's. I was so thankful I got a First Class seat  (remember, I'm an airline employee...not rich). I can't imagine three hours squeezed into a middle seat in coach. I think I would have died. At least I was in a nice wide seat for my nice wide butt.

I'm a little disappointed in myself, but I had a great time last week. It really wasn't about the food, it was about spending time with the people I love. The food just happened to be there. I could have said no, and a few times I did eat healthy. Obviously though, I didn't make good choices most of the time.

I will give myself a little credit though. When I got home last night about 8pm, I stopped at the grocery store on my way home. My husband is in Denver visiting his family so it was just going to be me at home. I have issues with eating when I'm alone. It's when I do my worst eating, when no one is watching. I'm a closet eater of junk food. When I'm alone is the most dangerous time for me.

As I was walking through the store last night I had coconut cream pie on my mind. I kept telling myself no. I bought my staples, organic non-fat milk, organic eggs, my favorite whole-grain bread, chicken breasts, non-fat yogurt, lots of fresh fruit and fresh vegetables, and a lot of other things that I eat on a regular basis. All very healthy and on plan.

I kept thinking about the bakery and walked past it a few times, but I never actually looked at any of the baked goods. They have a large cooler full of pies. I knew there would be a coconut cream pie in the cooler. I knew I could buy one, take it home and eat the whole thing. I knew no one would ever know. Somehow I managed to get out of the store with only my healthy food. I consider this a major accomplishment.

Now what?
Now it's time to get down to business. I don't have the I'm-on-vacation excuse. I have great hopes that I can get this thing under control. Today the gym is on my schedule, along with tracking my food and drinking tons of water. Tomorrow it's Weight Watchers and an official weigh in.

I go back to work on Tuesday, and back to my regular routine. For some unexplicable reason, I'm feeling positive and hopeful. I know I can and will do this (again).