Disappointment

Well, I went to see my doctor today and things didn't go quite the way I had envisioned them. I wanted to ask about fibromyalgia, my knee, and my hernia. I didn't object to being weighed, I was kind of curious to see if following the low-carb WOE for DH's diabetes was helping me maintain my weight. I was shocked to see that I had lost 10 lbs (and I don't know how the hell that happened, I sure as hell haven't been watching portion sizes or calories or anything like that, just cutting down on the carbs we eat).
As far as the fibromyalgia, my doctor won't make the diagnosis, I have to see a rheumatologist and she said it's really hard to get in to see one (I'm guessing we don't have one in our small town, which means going to Minneapolis, no way am I doing that in the winter time). She said from my symptoms, I probably have it, but getting meds will have to come from the rheumatologist. She also said it was good that I had lost some weight, and that losing a bit more might help with that (*head desk*). I had thought she was above all that nonsense (and she gave the tired old spiel of calories in/calories out). Yeah, right, tell me all about it, I'm sure I'll believe it this time around. She did say that I shouldn't weigh myself at home (yeah, I haven't found a home scale yet that goes over 350 lbs, so I don't think that's going to be a problem) because then you start obsessing over the number on the scale. Uh, up until she weighed me at my physical in February, I hadn't stepped on a scale in 8 years, why did she think I would be starting now?
For my knee, she recommended that I see an orthopedic doc (and again, even losing a little weight will lessen the pain in my knee, okay, you're sure of that, are ya?). I guess there are shots that can be given for knee pain (I knew about cortisone shots, but she was also saying prednisone, and there are some new ones too). I also asked her about my back, since it cramps up when I have to stand or walk for any amount of time, and then I can't stand to have anyone even touch my back, it hurts so bad (and it still hurts quite a bit even when the muscles aren't cramped). She said maybe physical therapy could help, but didn't recommend where to go or who to see (fat lot of good that does me). So, I have an appointment to see the orthopedic doc, and I'm going to ask him about using a recumbant bike for exercise once my knee pain is under control (I think that will help with strengthening my leg and stomach muscles, which should help my back problems). Why the hell do I have to figure this out on my own? I thought doctors were supposed to be so fucking smart and know what will help us? All she can tell me is lose weight, even if it's only 20 lbs, it will help and I will feel better (and I just so believe this, right?).
She did say that diets don't work because you can't stay on a diet forever, and the minute you go off the diet, you gain the weight back (no shit? tell me something I don't already know). She says you have to change the way you eat, but didn't really have any recommendations, other than keep on with the low-carb diabetic WOE we've been doing since that seems to be working (I'm not doing it to lose weight, I'm doing it because it's too damned expensive to do low-carb for DH and regular meals for me, plus it's not fair to DH to have stuff in the house that he shouldn't eat because it will send his BGs sky high).
And for my hernia? Well, she couldn't feel anything along the gallbladder incision (which is where they repaired the hernia from the GB surgery and where I can feel a bulge). She said I'd need a CAT scan for that, and we should wait to do that until I've lost some more weight to see if it's still a problem (since it only hurts when I do a lot of laughing, evidently it's not a big deal). Like I'm going to try to lose weight. I don't think so. I'm going to keep on eating low-carb, for the reasons I stated before, and because it seems to be a fairly healthy way of eating (at least I'm getting more fruits and veggies than I did before, and finding out I like more of them than I thought I did). I'm going to keep on doing what exercise I can handle, when I can handle it, but I'm not doing this with losing weight as my goal. I just want to feel better, I don't want to hurt anymore, I'm fucking tired of hurting all the damned time, and if she isn't going to help me with that other than by suggesting weight loss, then I'll figure out how to have less pain on my own.